hahahaha ヾ(＞▽＜)ｏ ハハハ

There is a problem at home. The reason is a cat.

Yes, meow.

Since winter's always cold, an orange stray cat decided this year that engine of my car is a perfect sofa to keep its butt from freezing. Even if I bang on the front of the car, it won't come out unless I open the car directly and shoo it away. The only problem is that if I start a car without checking it out first, I will have to pay an expensive car repairing fee in addition to having an unwanted feline meat loaf. Therefore, out comes my dog, the ever "efficient" cat landmine detector with 100% precision and accuracy but with some minor "side effects".

My dog loves riding that car. In addition, he hates cats especially when it's riding his favorite car and he isn't. Ever since he witnessed the same cat occupying that place a month ago, he always takes a sniff before leaving the house for a walk. Front and butt of the car just like he does to other dogs and humans.

Literally.

However, last night was the worst. He yelped away as in pain and scratched away the front of the car frenziedly as if his life depended on it. I wouldn't like a ground up cat, but I also didn't want my car being scratched away to bits by a dog. Therefore, I opened the front, and ta-dah! The fat feline slid out just like he said.

Before I could utter a single word, the dreaded "side effect" began. My dog went crazy. While it was hilarious to watch him trip and fall when he ran off for a cat, he was making an ass of himself by trying to jump over my neighbor's fence even if his feet couldn't reach even half of its height. Since I couldn't convince him to come back into the house, I left him out there, causing a racket even when the cat was long gone. I thought that he needs to cool his stupid head off but left the front door open.

Since he didn't come back after five minutes, I decided that it was enough. I went out, with my mouth open, preparing myself to shout to him to cut it out. Then, taking one look at the situation, I couldn't help but burst out laughing.

With a triumphant look on his face, my dog stared back at me, showing his accomplishment of the day. Forgetting totally about what he was doing a few minutes ago, he was amusing himself by being on top of the car's roof, using the front glass as a slide for kids.

私の家には、ある問題がある。その原因は、猫。
そうですニャー。

冬は、人間だけが寒いと感じない。猫だってそうだ。ただ、問題なのは、橙色の野良猫が、自分のお尻が全面凍結しない様に私の車のエンジンをソファーとして使っている事。車のフロントを叩いても、出ず、わざわざ、こじ開けて、追い出さなければ、のこのこ出てこない。そして、そうしなければ、膨大な修理代と猫ミンチがエンジンスタートともに出来上がる。その為に、我が家の犬公が、「効率的」な猫地雷探知機として出場。１００％の正確さと精密機能万端だが、ちょこっとした「副作用」付き。

犬の思考：
オイラは、車に乗ることが大好きであるなり。そして、そのお気に入りの所有物（車）にオイラではなく、猫野郎が乗る事は、けして、許されない事べし。

その同じの猫が、一ヶ月ほど前に同じ所で発見した後、毎回散歩に出る時に必ず車の前と後ろの臭いを嗅ぐ。まるで、それが人間やら、他の犬と同じの様に。


全く、その通り。

しかし、昨夜は、今までよりも一番酷かった。まるで、虐待にあっている犬の様に悲鳴を上げ、車のフロントの部分を必死に引っ掻きまくった。私は、猫ミンチはお断りだが、犬によって車が鉄のくずになる事も遠慮がち。そこで、車を開けてみると、ジャッジャッジャーン。猫が、出てきた。

私が一言も言える前に、恐れていた自家製の猫地雷探知機の「副作用」が始まった。
気違い犬の暴走。
追っかける際にこけた無様な姿が、最高だった。しかし、どう見たって、半分の高さまでも達さないのに、馬鹿みたいに隣の塀に目掛けて飛び跳ねていた。家に入る事をどうしても説得できなかったので、馬鹿頭を冷やすまで外に置いてきぼりにした。野良猫は、もうとっくにいなかったのに、大騒ぎを起こしていたから。まぁ、念の為に玄関のドアは、開けといてあげたが、もうあのアホ犬に付き合うのはまっぴらと思っていた。

それでも、五分経過しても帰ってこないので、もういい加減にしろと怒鳴ろうと思い、外に出てみた。でも、犬を一目見ると笑い出してしまった。

犬は、その日の成果を私に得意げに見せ付けていた。彼は、猫なんかすっかり忘れ、車の屋根の上に立ちはだかり、前の窓ガラスをお子様用滑り台として遊んでいたのだ。